![]() ![]() I thought we just talked about being lovesick: I didn’t think I was literally going to rush to the bathroom to throw up. I am not someone who ever misses a meal, but here I was feeling sick to my stomach like I had gastric flu. The smell of food, even the idea of it, was completely off-putting. I remember sitting in a brightly lit diner with my best friend, a few days after my breakup, staring at my plate of food unable to eat. Not only did I feel sad and lost and confused and weepy, I also felt physically ill. If, like me, you have been confused by the force of the blow, it might help to consider heartbreak in this way. At least I knew I wasn’t regressing to my melodramatic teenage self someone had vanished and the loss hit me hard. She had pulled together findings from a host of other researchers showing that the symptoms of heartbreak resembled those of bereavement: sleep disturbance, compromised immune function, digestive problems, body aches, depression, anxiety, all the way to something called ‘broken-heart syndrome’ where the shock from loss can induce a heart attack-style episode. One of the first reassuring pieces of research I read, when trying to grapple with the confusing aftermath of my own miserable breakup, was a major review of studies on heartbreak by the psychologist Tiffany Field at the University of Miami. I wasn’t being silly I was experiencing the proven impact of romantic loss. Rather than something to belittle, heartbreak is a profound form of grief. But new findings on heartbreak show it is a physiological and mental state. My inner voice kept telling me to put this in perspective and somehow rally round. And almost worse than the shock was how embarrassed I felt. I had been at that dangerous juncture of being completely loved-up and utterly unprepared. I know the term we use is heartbroken but, when my relationship ended, I just felt broken, punched in the gut. ![]() ![]() The reality of how painful a broken heart could be first hit me many years ago. 0:01 Brought to you by Curio, a Psyche partner Need to know ![]()
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